> Audition [need to level up!]
> Research paper [darn]
> Investigatory project
> Eco project
> Fil project
> Retreat at Baguio [yipee!]

I don’t know what to do first. Super random lahat!

I miss blogging pero wala naman akong ma-post. Anyways, wala namang nakaka-miss nung post ko. This blog is so idle.

Malapit nang matapos yung patch ng Audition. Geh..

Last month, my cousin who is studying in PUP invited my sister and I to watch a play. At first I refused kasi PUP but I was convinced by her [i dont know why]. We first had gone to Mcdo and we had eaten our lunch before we proceeded to PUP. We chose to watch the 16:30 play and I thought we were going to be late ‘coz it’s already 16:15 and we were still at Recto [darn!]. But things actually went well, nakaabot pa kami [whew].

Pagakyat namin.. jusme! Hindi pa pala nagsisimula. Yung pila pa lang yung magsisimula.. PI walah! Yun, medyo nasa unahaan pa kami. Actually, 17:30 na nga ata nagsimula eh! Filipino time talaga oh.. tsk tsk.

The play presented three one-act plays and I already forgot their titles [sorry]. The plays talked about our economic crises which we just ignore and let it be rampant. We are afraid to accept the fact that these issues greatly affects not just our economy but also our lives. Parang patama sa ating gobyerno yung naging dating ng mga plays. Of course, PUP, home of rebellious students–just kidding. Siyempre, PUP, kilala na sa mga numerous rallies na halos pumantay na sa Mendiola sa tapat ng CEU.

So.. here are the pics.

yung play.. nasa baba yung titles..

waiting..

“O?”

“Buko juice, o..”

“[slurp]“

My father and I already reconciled through a buko juice [yes..you've read it right]. He offered me a glass and we seated together on the dining table. We drank off ’til the last drop [naks..nomo?! haha]. I couldn’t believe it would happen. It might sound simple pero ganun talaga yung nangyari. I feel more okay than before. No more burdens for me.

Buko juice–our pride. We [my father and i] already knocked it down.

———-

Speaking about Ethel Carlo, I already found him through my cousin’s account. I have just invited him on Friendster. Yipee!

The person whom we consider as our brother. Our emotional baggage. The person whom we often get along with since childhood. The one whom we share our joys, success, troubles, pains–almost everything! Simply our best company.

Back in pre-school, I had a best friend named Ethel Carlo. Actually, I did not consider him as my best friend until our servicemen already became close. Their relationship was contagious enough to infuence and make us to be close with one another, too. We spent our pre-school years having fun, playing pranks, laughing at each other’s jokes, and syempre, studying. We built a nice bond. We treated each other like brothers. Minsan nga, nagpapalit kami ng serviceman whenever we feel to do so. We even had taken our lunch and dinner at each other’s houses [kung sinong taya] just to be together for we really enjoyed spending our time with each other. We treasured each other’s company. But then, after graduation, our relationship suddenly had been on the rocks until my family and I moved here in Cainta. Our communication was halted by the gap between us. I tried to search for him in Friendster soooo many times pero hindi ko siya makita until now. I thought I won’t be able to hear anything about him anymore. It even came to a point when I needed to forget our friendship for it is pointless to think that our friendship will still be saved.

But one time, when I was choosing a news for our reporting in Social Studies III, I’d read a news about a boy who was shot at his leg for he had resisted to give his cellphone to a snatcher. I pitied the boy and suddenly I knew that his name is Ethel Carlo [i forgot his surname], residing at Brgy. Victorino, Bagong Ilog, Pasig, City [the place where we once lived]. I knew deep in my heart that he was the Ethel Carlo that I had been with for almost years. I was shocked upon knowing the incident.

“Gosh, si Ethel Carlo, yung best friend at kaklase ko, nabaril!”

I wasn’t able to do anything aside from worrying. Gusto ko siyang puntahan pero hindi ko naman alam kung san ko siya bibisitahin o pupuntahan. I felt bizarre. I should have been there to protect him, my best friend. I should have tortured the snatcher to death with my Triple Critical Jur. I should have used the excalibur and stealthily slashed the snatcher’s head. Woah, it’s getting morbid. So much for the delusions.

I know it’s unusual for best friends to worry like what I do. But it’s my thing. [ano daw?] I’m just expressing what’s inside me. I hope he’s okay by now. Wherever he is, I hope we won’t forget.

There is still so much to be confessed but to wrap things up, let me just say that, I’m missing him, so badly.

Ganito kasi ‘yun, yesterday, my family and I had waken up late for church so my elder sister and I decided not to join the rest anymore. As what my mom would always do, she would not twist my arm to go with her whenever I refuse. Same thing with my siblings and with my father. But things have suddenly changed yesterday…

Mom: “O mga anak opening prayer ako, mauuna na ako sa church, sumunod kayo ha?”
Me, my sibs,&a cuz: silent
ex-Father: silent
Mom: “O yung ate niyo gisingin niyo na. Pa, yung dalaga mo?”
ex-Father: “Grace, gising na!“
Ate: [nakahiga pa] Huh? Late na. Exactly alas-nuebe nagsisimula na yun.”
ex-Father: “E magaalas-nuebe pa lang, pwede pa humabol.”
Ate: “E..”

I just stayed inside my room thinking that I would also be allowed not to join…

ex-Father: “O yung kuya mo? Naligo na ba?” [tinanong yung younger sis ko]
Me: “Hindi ako sasama!” [pasigaw kasi malayo siya eh.. pero hindi ako galit]
ex-Father: “At bakit ‘di ka sasama?” [galit na, pasigaw]
Me: silent

My father stayed beside my door and…
ex-Father: “Sinong may sabing ‘di ka sasama? Bakit ‘di ka sasama?”
Me: silent
ex-Father: “Baka gusto mong makatikim…”

I reluctantly got my clothes from my cabinet and went to the comfort room.

BOOM!

Inis na inis na talaga ako nung time na yun! Ang kapal ba naman kasi ng mukha niyang pasimbahin ako pero siya isang beses lang ata magsimba with a span of six months. Ang kapal ng pagmumukha niya! Puta.

So I stared at my naked body in front of the mirror sa may comfort room. Sinadya ko talagang magpatagal para lalo pa siyang mainis sakin. When I heard his yells already, tuwang-tuwa na ako.

I thought that it was the end. Hindi pa pala. Noong hapon, nalaman ko na kung ano-ano pa pala ang mga sinabi niya sa akin habang naliligo ako. Shit! Puta! Putang ina talaga!

Muntikan na akong maiyak pero pinigil ko ‘yon para mapakita na hindi ko siya uurungan. Mas matatanggap ko pa kung ang sinabi niya eh, “lumayas ka na”. Pero hindi eh!

He never knew how to appreciate nor deppreciate me. He only knows how to belittle me. He thinks that I cannot do a Herculean task, literally. It’s obvious that he doesn’t like me. Well I don’t like him neither! I never really wanted him to be my father, anyway–sends the goosebumps out of me. I swore na hindi ko na siya papansinin.

Let pride neutralize the situation.

Last quarter, I faced one of the darkest side of my life–I got a 72 in my report card. Worst–Advanced Algebra. Luckily, my teacher pitied me so she decided to give a bonus of two points kasi lahat talaga kami, mababa nung first quarter. I know she was trying to save me ‘coz I was [and still] the lowest last quarter. Whew.. 74. Not red, not bad.

Tomorrow, I will face the fortress again and I need to be prepared for my second judgement. I hope I’ll pass this second quarter.

The course I’d been dying to take when I was still a sophie way back then. I don’t really know what came into my mind that made me choose this course. Maybe I’m just trying to save myself from the torturing courses [as what i call them]–Business Ad, Medicine, Engineering, and all those. Ayoko na kasing mahirapan sa college. Pero mali yung iniisip ko diba?! Oo, alam ko. As we take a step higher, things [mga inaaral natin] also get more complicated and arduous. Pero hindi ito ang gusto kong pag-usapan.

Time passed by and my passion to take Psychology slowly decreased. Parang gusto ko na ng ibang course. Too late because the course I’d written on UP’s application form was AB Psychology.

Actually, I hate Science-related courses. Mas gusto ko yung related sa Arts.

But wait, sang school ba ako papasok sa college?

My choice?! La Salle. Animo!

Pero actually, ang tigas ng mukha ko. Kasi ba naman, UP at DLSU lang ako nag-apply. Tatag ko talaga! Pano kaya kung hindi ako pumasa dun sa dalawang paaralan na iyon, san ako pupulutin? wah.

I hope I would be able to make it at either UP or DLSU. Kasi gusto ko talaga pumasa sa dalawang paaralan na ‘to. I really can’t imagine myself walking in the hallways of PUP, CEU, UST, CCP, URS, UE, PNU, ICCT, uhh.. no pa ba? Basta dun din sa iba! [ang yabang ko, no offense ha] Sana lang magkaroon ng worth lahat ng pag-aaral ng ginawa ko sa pagkuha ng entrance exams sa mga colleges na ‘to. It’s really a slap on my face when things turned out the way we not want it to be.

All hopes to God.